A Queen of Hearts Fairy Tale


Ok, so Once Upon a Time, there was a girl. She’d been around the block. Checkered past. Coke whore turned treehugger. A Cinderella tragedy complete with wicked stepmother and schizophrenic prince. She woke up one day to discover that everyone she meant something to was gone.


Then, one fine day, she met this guy. A music man. Cute. Interesting. Smart. Kind. A reader, not a breeder. She’s intrigued. They talk. There’s smiling. Laughing even. Drive-by conversations. Glances. Generous pours. The playlist is excellent. Could this be the magic at last?


Then, as fast as it came, he’s backing away. He feigns indifference to her compliments. He ticks off a litany of reasons why this is a bad idea. “I’m not normal,” he says. She wishes he would just shut up and play.


She knows the drill. Yet another Desperado. "How did this one get here?" she wonders. What is his dark deal breaker? Maybe it's some high maintenance, soul sucking Queen of Diamonds who tore out his heart long ago and far away. Love stinks, yeh, yeh.


Then, one day, a fairy comes by and smacks him upside the head. Suddenly, he miraculously grows a pair and opens the gate. And, using his words, he chooses his Queen of Hearts from the large variety of choices available.


And, as couples do, they experience rainbows and butterflies and compromise and heartbreak happily ever after, which is all that really matters.


And then Society collapses and the world becomes uninhabitable due to the Sixth Extinction.


The End

(of the world as we know it and I feel fine.)

Fall 2015

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